Non-Adversarial Divorce in Connecticut

Non-Adversarial Divorce in Connecticut

New Laws go Into Effect, October 1, 2015

Connecticut has approved two simplified procedures for non-adversarial divorces. Effective October 1, 2015, these processes can speed up the divorce process. They may also eliminate the need to appear in court.

What is Non-Adversarial Divorce?

When people think about divorce, a “War of the Roses” type situation often comes to mind.  This is an “adversarial divorce.” An adversarial divorce is one in which the couple is arguing about how to divide property, custody, etc. Conversely, a non-adversarial divorce is one in which the two parties can compromise, reaching an agreement without an all out war. This does not mean there are no disagreements. Rather, it means the divorcing parties, or more often their attorneys, agree to negotiate their differences.  

As of October 1, 2015, in Connecticut, it is also simplified process by which eligible parties can obtain a divorce within 35 days without having to appear before a judge, as long as you meet the criteria.  An adversarial divorce will take a minimum of three months and involves appearing in court.

What are the Criteria for a Non-Adversarial Divorce?

First, you and your spouse must reach an agreement that is fair to both parties and reflects the best interests of the children, (if any.)  Neither party may “contest” the divorce or “charge” the other with grounds, such as abandonment or adultery.  You must meet residency requirements, and you must file a joint petition in the judicial district in which one of the parties resides.  You also must attest the marriage has broken down “irretrievably.”

What are the New Processes?

The first process is a Non-Adversarial Divorce for those with Limited Assets.  This process shortens the process to a mere 35 days, as long as you meet specific criteria.  In addition, a judge may grant these divorces “on the papers,” which means you will not have to come to court.  To qualify, you must first meet criteria for a non-adversarial divorce.  In addition, you must meet the following conditions:

• Have been married eight years or less;
• Neither person is pregnant;
• No children were born or adopted before or during the marriage;
• Neither spouse has any interest or title in any real property;
• The total value of all property they own is less than $35,000;
• Neither spouse has a company sponsored pension plan;
• Neither spouse has a pending bankruptcy;
• Neither spouse is applying for or receiving Medicaid benefits;
• No other action of dissolution of marriage is pending; and
• There are no restraining or protective orders between the spouses.

What if I do not meet these criteria?

If you do NOT meet these criteria, the second new process may apply to you.  This process allows your attorney to file a motion asking for a waiver of the requisite 90-day waiting period.  To qualify, you must have reached an agreement as to all terms of your divorce.  You must also meet the conditions described above.  This still significantly decreases the time period a traditional divorce requires.

What are the Advantages of Non-Adversarial Divorce?

The advantages are many.  First of all, a non-adversarial divorce is significantly cheaper than an adversarial one.  You can save thousands of dollars by avoiding litigation.  Next, a non-adversarial divorce is a lot less stressful.  It allows you to retain more of a sense of control.  It also takes a LOT less time than a traditional divorce.  Fewer relationships are strained, and parties involved have a greater chance of remaining “friends” after the split.  But perhaps most importantly, it allows you to move on with your life much more quickly.

How do I Initiate the Process?

We recommend you start the process as you would a traditional divorce: by consulting an attorney.  During your initial consultation, stress that you are interested in a non-adversarial divorce.  Question your attorney about his track record handling divorces, and ask how successful your attorney has been in keeping previous cases non-adversarial.  Discuss any “problem areas” you anticipate, as well as areas in which you are willing to compromise.

Final Thoughts

Here at the Law Offices of Heath D Harte, we believe in non-adversarial divorces whenever possible.  Even if you do not think you and your partner will be able to work things out, we still recommend you attempt the non-adversarial route.  After all, that is why you are hiring a skilled attorney.  We often take potentially-contentious situations and turn them into workable ones.  We can negotiate compromises where in areas you did not think were possible.  We believe in keeping the battles behind closed doors, whenever possible, and out of the courtroom.  We celebrate the new Connecticut processes that make divorce quicker and less costly.

If your situation warrants, we highly recommend you attempt a non-adversarial divorce.  (Of course, not all circumstances dictate this route, and if yours do not, we will recommend you take the alternate path.) To facilitate this, we often start negotiations before we file the paperwork.  If we cannot take advantage of the new law, we will go back and negotiate a more traditional divorce.  But we always recommend you take the non-adversarial route, if at all possible.  

Child Support in Connecticut, Part 1

Child Support in Connecticut, Part 1 

If you are a single parent, and your child lives with you, you are entitled to collect Child Support, In Connecticut, this applies both to divorced parents and to parents who were never married. It applies to heterosexual couples and same-sex couples. Both parents are legally obligated to support their children.

Child support is not automatic though. In order to receive support, you must apply for it. If you receive public assistance of any kind, you can get free help from The Department of Social Services to apply for support. If you do not receive public assistance, you can still apply through DSS, but the process will not be free. Applying through DSS is also a long process. Because of this, many people prefer to file for Child Support through the Superior Court.

Here at the Law Offices of Heath D Harte, we recommend you file through the courts, rather than through DSS. If you file through DSS, they will be responsible for enforcing the judgment. They have thousands of cases, and yours may not get priority. You will not have any choice regarding who will be assigned to your case. Because of this, the remainder of this article will focus on how to file for Child Support through the court, rather than through DSS. Later articles will discuss enforcement and modifications.

Am I Entitled to Collect Child Support? 

You are entitled to collect support if you are the Custodial Parent, and if you obtain a Child Support Order through the Courts. Basically, if a child lives with you, you are entitled to collect Child Support. If the child does NOT live with you, most likely you are required to PAY Child Support, rather than collect it.

What if some of the children live with me, and some of the children live with the other parent? 

This situation is a little trickier. The answer is “it depends.” Each parent's support obligations will be calculated on a separate worksheet. The lower obligation is subtracted from the higher obligation. The parent with the lower obligation will receive the difference in the sums. 

What if we share custody? 

If you share custody, the Court will look at how the child's expenses are paid. They will also look at the amount of time the child spends with each parent. If you pay the greater share of expenses, you are entitled to Child Support.

What if I receive Public Assistance? 

The other parent is still required to pay, but you will not get the full amount ordered. You will get $50 per month, and the State will keep the rest. Once you are no longer receiving Public Assistance, you will be entitled to the full payment. What if the other parent lives in a different state? You are still entitled to collect Child Support. The Connecticut Courts have mechanisms in place to enforce interstate support agreements.

Is Child Support for Mothers only? 

No, child support is for the custodial parent, be that parent the Father or the Mother. If you are the Father, and the child lives with you, the Mother is obligated to pay support. Likewise, if you are a same-sex couple with children and you separate, the non-custodial parent is obligated to pay support.

How Do I Apply for Child Support? 

You must file with the Superior Court to apply for Child Support. Alternatively, you may file with DSS. We recommend the Court route.

Although you may represent yourself, we strongly recommend you hire an attorney to help you through the process. Your attorney help you gather the needed information and file with the Courts. S/he will help you with the required financial affidavits and Court Worksheets. Your lawyer can also help if there are later issues with collecting, or if you need to modify the order. If you are NOT the custodial parent, we also recommend you hire an attorney so that your obligations are fairly calculated.

How is Support calculated? 

Connecticut follows an “Incomes Shares” model. This means they will look at the child's expenses as if they were living with both parents, and will then divide that cost according to each respective parent's income and assets.

 Connecticut has regulations and standard worksheets they use to figure out the payment obligations. These are called “The Connecticut Child Support and Arrearage Guidelines.” They use the combined income of the mother and the father and the number of children to set the support amount. Because the worksheets are fairly complicated, we suggest you complete them with an attorney's help.

Does the State set the same amount per child in all cases? 

No. There are many deviations to the standard calculations. If a parent pays for insurance for a child, that will be taken into account during calculations. If a child has special needs, generally larger payments are required. The number of other children a parent is supporting is also considered. If a child is receiving social security assistance, payments may be reduced. If one parent has significantly higher assets, they will pay a greater share. Likewise, if a parent has little net income, they may pay a lesser share. Again, an attorney can be really helpful in looking at how your circumstances effect the basic payment worksheets. Your lawyer can help you pay or receive a fair amount.

How long does the parent have to pay? 

The parent will be ordered to pay support until the child is an adult. Generally, this is until the child turns 18 or graduates from High School, whichever is later. However, support generally goes to at least 23 for special needs children. With severely disabled children, lifetime support may be ordered.

In addition, a parent can request an educational support order. If granted, this will require support through post-secondary education. These require payment until the child has finished the educational program or turns 23, whichever comes first. Support can be ordered through a Bachelor's Degree, a training program, or an Associate's Degree, but will not be ordered through a Masters or equivalent. These orders are NOT automatic. We strongly suggest you use an attorney if you are hoping for an Educational Support Order.

Can't the Parents draw up an agreement without the Courts? 

A Child Support Agreement is not enforceable without a Court Order. Respective attorneys can negotiate an order to present to the Courts to ease the process. But an agreement made between two parents is not enforceable. We do NOT recommend “Gentleman’s Agreements” when it comes to Child Support. It is best that all Child Support Agreements go through the Courts.

We're getting divorced; can we handle Child Support in the Divorce Decree? 

If you are getting divorced, we highly recommend negotiating a support order while negotiating your divorce. Since a divorce must go through the Court eventually, the Child Support can be mandated during the divorce proceedings.

Do I have to establish paternity to get support? 

Yes, you must establish paternity in order to get Child Support. However, a good lawyer can get the Court to order paternity testing as part of the child support filings.

Can I file for support for adopted children? 

Yes, you are entitled to support for any child adopted by two parents. This means if a father legally adopts a child conceived outside the marriage, he will be required to support that child when the marriage is dissolved. If an adoptive father has custody of a child, he is entitled to support from the child's mother. Likewise, if a same sex couple has children, and they split up, the non-custodial parent must pay support.

What if I don't know where the Father (or Mother) is? 

You will need to locate the Father before you can petition for support. This is also something your attorney can help you with. You should still petition for support, even if you cannot locate the Father (or Mother.) Both the Courts and your attorney can help try to locate him (or her.)

Can a support order be changed? 

Yes, you can file for modification of a support order. The whys and hows of modifications will be addressed in a future article. (Subscribe to our blog, Twitter Feed, or Facebook Page to be notified when this article is published.)

Can the other parent just refuse to pay? 

No, the other parent cannot refuse to pay. Child Support Enforcement will be discussed in a future article. But if the other parent doesn't pay, contact your attorney. S/he will help enforce the judgment.

I don't want the other parent to know where I live; can I still file for support? 

Yes, you can obtain Child Support and still protect your privacy. In these cases, it is important to let your lawyer know your concerns. S/he can help shield your personal details throughout the process. S/he can also arrange for payments to be made in a way that will not reveal your details.

Can I file for back Child Support? 

You can, but if it's awarded may depend on the other parent's ability to pay back support. It is always best to file as soon as possible after the baby is born, or after you split as a couple. In some cases, the Child Support process can begin before the baby is actually born, and it can include expenses related to the birth. These cases usually require establishing paternity.

Does This Apply to ALL US States? 

No. Child Support laws still vary from state to state. Although many of the generalities apply, this information is specific to Connecticut.

Do I NEED to hire a Lawyer? Or can I represent myself? 

The law does not require that you have an attorney. In the United States, we still have a right to represent ourselves. But just because we CAN, it doesn't mean we should. The worksheets are extremely complicated. Connecticut judges often take individual circumstances into account when determining payments. A good attorney will help you uncover the other parent's true assets and ensure an accurate financial profile is presented to the Court. A lawyer will help you get higher payments. A lawyer will help get payment procedures mandated in the original agreement to help minimize future trips to Court. A good lawyer will negotiate payment plans based on support payouts, and may even be able to recoup your attorney fees. You will have far fewer headaches in the long run if you work with an attorney.

Summary: 

In this article, we reviewed filing for Child Support. We discussed who is entitled to receive support and how to get the support process started. In Connecticut, a parent is required to pay support, regardless of marital status. The next article in this series will discuss modifications and enforcement.

Here at the Law Offices of Heath D Harte, we strongly believe in a parent's obligation to support his or her child. We believe a custodial parent should receive full financial support from the other parent, regardless of that parent's sex. We work hard to uncover the full extent of the other parent's assets so that the child gets the financial support he or she deserves.


If you are now a single parent or you are about to become one, we'd love to help you get the Child Support your child deserves. Contact us today, and we'll get the process started. We can help you receive Child Support in Connecticut or New York. We are adept with interstate and intrastate support cases.

Preparing Your Appearance For Court

Preparing Your Appearance For Court 

Playing To Win In Court In New York And Connecticut 

If you must appear to face criminal or motor vehicle charges in Superior Court or Juvenile Court in New York or Connecticut, the outcome of those court proceedings is very important to you. Your freedom and your future may be at stake. If convicted, you may face fines, jail time, revocation or suspension of your right to operate a motor vehicle, and a criminal or motor vehicle record. A criminal record will make it more difficult for you to be admitted to college, get a student loan, rent an apartment, find a job or enter the military. A serious motor vehicle record may result in the revocation or suspension of your right to operate a motor vehicle and increased motor vehicle insurance rates. Your appearance in court is serious business and you need to appear serious in court if you want to improve your chances for a favorable result.

You Only Have One Chance To Make A Good First Impression 

 The prosecutor, judge and jury, if you are at trial, will get their first impressions of you based on how you look; that is, how they see you dress and how they see you behave. A favorable first impression is invaluable. It influences how the prosecutor, the judge or the jury will like you, whether they will believe you and whether they will want to help you. You will be much better served if they like you, want to believe you and want to help you from the first time they see you. It will be much harder to get what you want if they don't like you and don't want to help you because you made a bad first impression. So, when you get ready for court in the morning:

• Wash up and pay attention to your personal hygiene and clothing. 
• Wear nice, clean, presentable and conservative clothes.

 For men this means a clean shirt with a collar (preferably light blue in color), clean pants without holes (jeans are OK but khakis without cargo pockets are better; pants should be worn at the waist, not below the hips) and clean shoes (sneakers are OK but dress shoes are better). Men don't need to wear ties, sport jackets or suits. For women this means a conservatively modest dress or blouse and skirt or pants (jeans are OK but slacks are better), clean shoes or sandals. Spending a few dollars to improve your wardrobe for court, even at a thrift store, may prove to be a very worthwhile investment in your future, so please consider it seriously.

• No clothing that reveals your midriff or your undergarments. 
• No bling showing! You can wear modest jewelry. 
• No heavy perfume, cologne or make-up. 
• No tattoos showing! If you have tattoos, cover them. When you are driving to court, parking your car, walking into the courthouse, waiting in the courthouse lobby or courtroom, talking to courthouse staff or anyone else in the courthouse: Be polite, respectful and courteous. Try not to offend anybody with loud talk or rambunctious behavior. 
• Turn off your cellphone and put away your MP3 player or iPod. 
• Be careful who you speak to and what you say, as you do not know who may be listening and you can safely assume that no conversation is private. It is important you watch what you say in the restroom, the hallway and in the courtroom itself, as you are under constant scrutiny. 

Child Custody: Does it Mean Litigation?

Child Custody: Does it Mean Litigation?

When the word “custody” is mentioned, people picture a projected legal battle.  They picture long days in court, full of airing one's dirty laundry in public.  Custody issues can get messy, but they don't necessarily mean long days before a judge.  Today, most custody issues are hammered out in negotiations.  This is true for both married parents and non-married parents alike.

The first step in gaining custody is to ask for it.  If the parents are married, that step is a part of divorce proceedings.  If the parents are not married, the father may have to file to establish paternity.  This may involve a Court Order, but it does not have to.  In most cases, establishing paternity is mediated through the lawyers.  If the mother is married to someone else, things get a little more difficult.  In most States, if a woman is married, her spouse is legally presumed to be the Father.  Because of adultery laws are still on the books in many states, many women will fight having a man she is not married to being declared the father.  That does not mean the fight for father's rights is automatically lost.  However, there is a greater likelihood of needing court intervention to order a paternity test.

Over the years, mothers have been more likely to ask for primary custody, but that too is changing.  Today, custody is being awarded to the father in more and more cases, regardless of whether the parents were married at the time the child was conceived.  Men are fighting their Baby Mamas for custody and are winning.  In fact, the courts are looking at things like financial and emotional stability over sex of the parent.
Ideally, the lawyers battle in their offices so that the issues are settled before things ever reach the courts.  Family Court should be a LAST resort, only after discussions between the parents have failed.  In fact, the great custody myth is that the majority of cases are battled out in Family Court.  That is not the case.

According to DivorcePeers.com () most custody is decided through negotiations:

• 51% agreed on their own
• 29% settled without third party involvement
• 11% decided during mediation
• 5% resolved differences after a custody evaluation
• 4% went to trial (of the 4% that initiated litigation, only 1.5% actually completed it)

So what is the likelihood YOUR custody battle will involve litigation?  How able are you to communicate with your co-parent?  Do both parents want sole custody, or do they want co-parenting?  Does the other parent have issues that could potentially endanger your child?  Will the parents reside near one another, or will they be separated by distance?  How reasonable is your co-parent?  Even if the two of you cannot communicate, can you do so through third-parties?

The fewer of these issues that apply to you, the less likely you will need a court to decide them.  If custody is fairly straightforward, the courts will not be involved at all.  And if you can work the issues out between your attorneys, you will not need to litigate.

This is where finding the right attorney can be key.  Your lawyer needs to understand all of the issues, as well as your desires.  S/he needs to be skilled at looking at ALL the problem areas and advising you accordingly.  S/he needs to be able to help you get past your stubbornness and anger.  S/he needs to help you stand strong on the big points and compromise on others.

Of course, any time there are unacknowledged endangerment issues, the likelihood of court involvement is greater.  The more severe these issues, the greater chance the offender will concede before you get to court.  The goal is to work everything out, so that you just present an agreement for the court to ratify.  And the more reasonable you are throughout the settlement process, the greater the chance you will prevail on the issues that need court intervention to settle.  And if you have trouble being reasonable, make sure your attorney can be for you.

So does custody necessarily mean a huge court fight?  The answer is no, it does not.  Most of the battle is fought in the lawyer's offices.  But the first step is telling your attorney to fight.  The second step is being willing and able to compromise along the way.  The goal is actually to keep the fight OUT of the courtroom. 

Here at the Law Offices of Heath Harte, we believe in negotiating custody, as much as possible, outside of the courts.  We will help you look objectively at the issues surrounding your case, both good and bad.  We will explain all of the factors used in determining custody, and just how these factors apply to your case.  We will look at all of the financial and emotional issues.  We will truthfully examine the barriers facing you along the way.  We will help you determine what is realistic, and what is truly best for the children involved.  We will help you prepare your strongest argument.  We will negotiate as much as possible without litigation.  If we do need the court's involvement, we'll use our knowledge of case law and judge's behavior to advise you where you should bend, and where you should stand strong.  We believe that parents, with all their strengths and weaknesses, are the best ones to determine what is best for their children.  We believe in keeping the decisions with the parents and out of the courts.

Fighting for Paternal Rights

Fighting for Paternal Rights

Today, the “traditional family” is becoming a rarity.  Today, the single-parent home, the blended family, and shared custody are at least as prevalent as traditional families.  We also have same-sex couples bearing or adopting children.  In the old days, when a family broke up, primary custody almost always went to the mother.  Today, that is no longer the case. 

Many fathers still assume that if they leave their spouses, that means the end of raising their children. Unmarried fathers assume they have no chance for primary custody.  Thankfully, that is no longer the case.  More and more fathers are fighting for primary, or even sole custody and are winning.

The advances, in part, are due to The Fathers' Rights Movement. Starting in the 70s, groups of men began organizing to end the bias towards placing children with Mom.  Groups began to form, including Families Need Fathers and the Lone Father Association.   (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fathers%27_rights_movement.)  The movement continued and expanded with the rise of the Internet.  Now, there are a plethora of groups organizing through social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit.   Some of these groups advocate and lobby, while others offer support.  They also help raise awareness of why the mother may not be the best parent for the children.  Similar groups exist that stress the importance of shared parenting. These groups have helped things like paternity leave for fathers to become a reality.

Several celebrities have also helped raise the profile of fathers' rights.  In 2014, the actor Jason Patric was denied visitation and was barred from seeing his baby, conceived through IVF. After initially being denied even visitation, he sued, and won, and was granted full parental rights.  

Also in 2014, skier Bode Williams was casually dating a woman who became pregnant.  She decided to move to New York to go to college.  Bode successfully sued for father's rights, gaining primary custody of his baby.   Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry dominated the tabloids in 2012, 2013, and 2014, with Halle fighting to deny visitation, and Gabriel fighting, and winning his parental rights.  Aubry successfully kept Berry and her new husband from moving their child out of the country.  This year, NFL Hall of Famer Barry Sanders joined the ranks of those fighting for Fathers' Rights.

Today, there is no reason for a loving father to back down.  You do not have to be a celebrity to successfully gain custody of your child.  All you need is will, determination, and the right lawyer.

Here at the Law Offices of Heath Harte, we believe custody needs to go to the better parent.  In many cases, that is the father.  We also believe that most children can benefit from having a relationship with both parents.  If you are a father, and you are looking at establishing your paternal rights, we can help.